Advice for a New Pastor's Wife

When thinking up a title I first thought of "Advice for a Young Pastor's Wife", since I guess I consider myself young still (29). Then I though well maybe there are "new" Pastor's wives that aren't that young perhaps their husbands decided to go to seminary and are second carrier clergy? The Rev Dr. actually was a lawyer before he went to seminary but that was long before I meet him, he had already been Pastoring for a few years when we met, so upon our wedding I became a Pastor's wife.
I grew up in a small church of around 50 people, then I went to Bible College at one of the world's largest churches there is a much different dynamic at both. So this advice is what I've learned at our churches.

1. Don't have church members as close friends. plain and simple , you can be friendly but it will create jealously among other ladies. A close friend is someone you share your confidences with, you can go out to lunch with a GROUP of your church ladies but don't single one out.

2. Someone that tells you "stories" about another person, will tell another person "stories" about you.

3. Find your close friends among the other clergy families in your area. Have a group that fellowships together, if your in a large church fellowship with the other staff members, UNLESS they have extended family in the same church then keep in mind that nothing you say in front of them is really private.

4. Don't complain about ANYTHING to a church member, especially about your husband or something that occurred in the church.

5. Pour out your frustrations to Jesus not others, most of the time he's the only one who can do anything about them anyway.

6. Your congregation holds you and your family to a higher moral and spiritual standard then they hold themselves.

7. The instant you become a Pastor's wife people will automatically think you are a theologian and trained counselor. Most of counseling is simply listening to people share their heartaches and ANYONE can do that, anything you can't handle tell your husband about.

8. Keep the house clean and the kids tidy,make sure your husband is dressed well and his clothing is ironed. It will reflect on you if these aren't done, should it ?? Beside the point it WILL!

9. Never be alone in a room with a member of the opposite sex, never be in a car , alone with a member of the opposite sex. I personally don't hug male church members.

10. Never let a incident or injustice done by another Christian affect your joy in the Lord and in the ministry.